Joe Garden's 1992 Ford Festiva has tried to save him from disastrous relationships using its automatic seatbelts. It has schlepped stuff and friends around. It can do reverse donuts on gravel. It's kind of a piece of crap.

It's been part of his life for 11 years, but it's only been part of his body for 8 months. And the car—and the ink—are absolutely magnificent. Joe wrote us a tale of love, loss, and Festiva, and we're proud to bring it to you.