Road & Track

The big, red, adorably ugly box you see above is more addictive than crack. That's because every time your brain says "I really shouldn't buy a third dirtbike," that dopy Ram Promaster pops up on your shoulder and says, "WHY NOT? I got room!" It's a big red enabler, and that makes it the best kind of van around.

You can haul bikes inside, upright. Hell, if there's no Tauntaun handy to light-saber open, you can sleep in it—it's not as warm, but it smells better. It gobbles up parts, miles, and toys with abandon. Your wallet might lighten, your significant other might leave you.


But at least you'll have the box with all the toys in it. Read Zach Bowman's epic love ballad to a big red van right here.

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